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| * waves * |
| 01.14.05 (5:06 pm) [edit] |
It's been a long time since I've been here....so just a quick post to say hey while I play around with this and make it pretty 
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| Stolen Quiz |
| 01.19.04 (6:58 am) [edit] |
15 Years Ago, I:
1. ...was 17 years old.
2. ...waS on the verge of becoming a full on alcoholic
3. ....Passed out in my front yard and my mom didnt care
4. ...Ran away from home
5. ...Partied all night, went to school during the day and worked at night
10 Years Ago, I:
1. ...Was 22 years old.
2. ...was happily living in Florida
3. ...had no clue what an asshole I hooked up and shouldve stayed with my ex
4. ...was pregnant
5 Years Ago, I:
1. ...Was living in Merritt Island
2. ...was SO happy because my sisters had kids
3. ...had a GORGEOUS house
4. ...Had my first lesbian relationship and a few threesomes ;)
3 Years Ago, I:
1. ...was working in a nursing home
2. ...was arrested
3. ...started to hate my life
4. ...seperated from Mark for a few months, okay quite a few
1 Year Ago, I:
1. ...was in PCJ taking a vacation
2. ...Met Joey, booted Mark out again :D
3. ...lived with my mom
4. ...Met Jen and one other girl I liked
5. ...carried on like a slut :P
Yesterday, I:
1. ...went to work.
2. ...got into a HUGE mindblowing fight
3. ...cried
4. ...didnt eat a thing
5. ...was threatened
Today, I:
1. ...Got up completely pissed off
2. ...Went on a psychotic rage with Satan
3. ...Slept all day
4. ...Talked to a friend about rooming with her
5. ...Wished Id done this a year ago
6. Was told how worthless I am
Tomorrow, I:
1. Will Make me a doctors appt.
2. Wont physically smack Satan anymore
3. ...will whine in my blog all about it, if I dont tonight
4. ...Will go on Computer.
5. ...will shower.
5 Games I Like:
1. Tetris
2.
3.
4.
5. What?? I dont like games *shrugs*
5 Things I'd Buy With $1000:
1. Use it to get out of my own personal hell
2. buy my kids something
3. MOVE
4. MOVE
5. MOVE
Top 5 Bands/Artists Lately:
1. Three Days Grace
2. Linkin Park
3. Limp Bizkit
4. Evanescence
5. Alanis Morissette
3 Bad Habits I Have
1. Believing people and trusting them
2. Smokes WAY too much
3. Doing nothing with my life, YET
Interests at the moment:
1. People to leave me alone
2. Wanting to kill people. ( keeping that one, sounds good to me)
3. burning a CD for Katy
3 TV Shows I Like:
1. Charmed
2. Angel
3. CSI:Miami
4 Places I've Visited:
1. All around the entire US except for The far east coast
How very sad!
My Top 3 Biggest Worries at the Moment:
1. How Im going to pull this off
2. My kids
3. My will to live....Ive been thinking about it all day long, but thats a blog in itself
Biggest Joys at the Moment:
1. My kids
2. My Friends
3. My family
Hopes::
1. To NOT kill Mark
2. To make it thru the night, ya just never know....if not, love ya guys and Angie you get my clothes and all material things.
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| hey :P |
| 12.06.03 (11:13 am) [edit] |
Havent been here in awhile :twisted: Thats cause I went and got myself a new blog to get away from stalkers...anyways Ill just copy and paste what I wrote there into here...because right now I cant be bothered to write it all again so Mleh to you :wink:
So my mom had her surgery last night on the two blockages in one of her kidneys...they ended up keeping her in the hospital because her blood pressure was so high. The same thing happened when they did her heart a few months ago too...she rebounded from that okay so Im hoping she does with this too. I tried calling up there but noones answering at my aunts house, hopefully because she's on her way to go pick mom up from the hospital. Im a bit worried about her, my mom is so young to have all these problems, shes only 54, the thing that scares me though is my grandma passed away at age 54, after having 8 heart attacks, the 8th being the one that killed her. So heart disease runs in the family, along with high blood pressure and diabetes...see what I get to look forward to when I get older?? [image]DevylzGoddess_7317 44808.gif[/image]
I shouldve called her last night, my aunt I mean but I figured everything would be fine and Delanna called me for the first time in a LONG time...I ended up talking to her for like 2 hours, literally until my cell phone died and I have to call her back tonight. Her little girls going to be here next week for a National Dance competition in Orlando at Disneyworld so Im going to find a way to go over there and see her, hopefully I can watch the competition and NOT have to pay the ridiculous price of 50.00 to get into Disneyworld...then again I wanna be there so Ill end up paying for it if I have to. I miss talking to D...we havent spoke in quite awhile, which is my own fault because I let her ignorant ass of a husband get to me and piss me off so I stopped calling her and emailing her I shouldnt have done that
I wish she was coming too...talk about an awesome Christmas present, that would be it *nods* Me and her together in Florida The fun we'd have together...I just miss her, even more so now that I talked to her. Ya know I was going to move up there...we had this whole thing talked about and planned for the longest time but then as usual something happens and we cant...yeah so anyways, not going to go into all that.
My kids spent the night at their friends house last night so this morning Ive had absolute quiet...Satans gone, them gone, I got to talk to Rin, whom Ive missed talking to all week cause of work...now to catch Red online. I also had an interesting phone call from someone in my past that I cant say who it is..I promised I wouldnt because it'll just start trouble and lord knows I have enough going on that I dont need any more drama. Im distanced enough from everyone as it is...no sense making it worse. It was a nice conversation though, I havent talked to said person in ages and I really just adore him. Its a shame things worked out the way they did. Such is life I guess.
I wanted to give a little shoutout to my newest stalker Flippy, my nickname for said person *laughs* another name to add to my list
Im off to shower and then go do some horrible RPGing at CTP and catch up on my fights, Im way far behind since I havent been around so much lately.
Buh-bye now :wink:
There ya go...minus a few smileys that is :wink: I just came by to grab the added stuff I have on here to add to my new journal ...Ill still stop by here every now and then to update but not like I used to
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| Quiz cause Im bored |
| 12.02.03 (8:34 pm) [edit] |
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
1. Life
2. People
3. People...
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. anything happening to my kids
2. death of close friends
3. Never finding what makes me happy
THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO LEARN
1. How to be somewhat normal
2. What goes on in peoples heads
3. Physics *shrugs, couldnt think of anything else*
THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Levi Jeans
2. White tank
3. Underwear, red if you must know :P
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. My Dew
2. My smokes
3. Remote control
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Be utterly and truly happy
2. See my kids graduate college and pre-law, pre-nursing
3. Go out of the country
THREE GOOD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. loyal
2. caring
3. funny
THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. Moody
2. easily sidetracked
3. not very helpful
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. German
2. Apache
3. Cherokee
THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
1. my eyes
2. my legs
3. my hair, sometimes
THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
1. my nose
2. my smile
3. everything else
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. Bite Me
2. Erm
3. Blargh
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO
1. England
2. France
3. Australia
THREE NAMES THAT YOU GO BY
LaDonna
LaDonna
LaDonna
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE OR HAD
DevylsGoddess
LaAinjel_87
LaDevyl_87
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| Mother phuck.... |
| 11.26.03 (11:01 am) [edit] |
[image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image]
REALLY phucking Nice.....Everyone needs to STAY THE PHUCK AWAY FROM ME........VERY PHUCKING FAR!!!!!!!!!
[image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image] [image]DevylzGoddess_5898 48086.gif[/image]
I HATE liars..Theyre ALMOST as bad as two faced lying phuckers.
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| Bloggity blog blog.... |
| 11.26.03 (9:29 am) [edit] |
I dont really feel like blogging but Im bored out of my freaking mind so why not?? I'm actually going to change my blog and go under a new name since my lame ass stalker of 9 years decided to get bored and do a search on the internet for me :roll:
Dude, its been NINE years...almost TEN...I know Im good but for phucks sake go stalk some other chic you screwed and phuck off already :evil:
Tomorrow's Turkey Day...yay...I went out and bought all this damn food that'll take us a month 1/2 to eat afterwards, since noones coming here to see me *sniff* and since Satan is being an ass and not going to my sisters...couldve spent that money on gas and shit to go over there...he's a moron though so whatever :roll: Guess I'll just have to deal with talking to my sister on the phone all day instead *kicks him*
Let's see, what else is there??? Alot has actually happened, I just dont feel like sharing with the world what...Ive told those I want to know whats going on with me...thats good enough. *shrugs*
Its gorgeous outside...I have all my doors and such open, i really shouldnt waste my entire day in here sitting on my ass but I worked all damn day yesterday and got very little sleep last night thanks to a few things that happened yesterday...Ill just nap later like an 80 year old woman and be fine. :lol:
My ADA life has been quite interesting...I use that word alot dont I??? Instead of saying what I want to say I say interesting and then move on...anyways they decided to let the FGBers switch over to the evil side cause we RULE and kick their asses every day...thing is almost EVERY upper level FGBer and a few lower levels switched over...and they were acting all FGBish so I posted this message in their welcome thread::
Everyone needs to stop being so damn nice.
We're EVIL....evil and bad....all this happy shiny stuff is giving me a headache and hurting my eyes.
As soon as you new switchys are settled with your powers, I challenge all of you to a fight, I dont care what level you are...
Someone needs to make sure all the goody goody crap is out of you and let the evil kick in :evil:
LMFAO..Nancy, a level 6 is the only one who took me up on my challenge....figures noone else would :roll:
Im told its because I always go straight for the kill and that I'm a cruel bytch :) What the hell else am i supposed to be?? Im EVIL for petes sake :roll:
Whiners....
anyways...my kids are home for the whole damn week this week...these teachers take WAY too much time off...when I went to school, granted it was back in the dark midevil days we got a 1/2 day off the day before and the day after...NOT the whole damn week :roll: Teachers are too damn lazy these days...
Hmmmmmm....can you believe you just sat there and wasted your time reading all this nonsense??? You should think of more constructive things to do with your time
*points and laughs at you*
:twisted:
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| bring on the quizzes...LMFAO |
| 11.24.03 (9:37 pm) [edit] |
You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.
"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."
The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.
As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| .... |
| 11.24.03 (9:15 pm) [edit] |
One of these days I'll blog...I've been in a bad mood all damn day and night...not very helpful either.
Nosey ass people piss me off....
Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage &
Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances
are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses,
and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a
little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby!
What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| ... |
| 11.13.03 (10:46 am) [edit] |
I am completely bored...so what better to do than come on here...besides things have actually been looking up lately *happy dances*
I got lots of sleep last night..YAY ME!!!!!!!
I've finally made up my mind and have started to set my little plan to escape in motion...YAY ME!!!!!!
Its going to take some time, well not that long if I do it right and if everything works out, which I have every high hope for.
Me and Katy had a talk yesterday...I feel so bad that my kids are in the middle of this mess, hearing what they hear, seeing what they see..so for their sake and mine, Ive decided to kick my own ass and get myself out of this stupid ass slump Im in and do something about it...and Im going to. Especially after talking to her...that just hit me..never realised how selfish we have been in this whole ordeal.
So yeah we talked, and we talked about everything...I could feel her withdrawing from me, which isnt suprising since I kinda withdrew myself from everyone and everything...so Im glad we talked *nods*
Not that Im gonna be all PTA mom though, thats just not my scene...BUT putting my kids first instead of myself...something that used to be done and somehow slipped away so we need to get that back...*nods* and we are *nods again*
My kids are the BEST thing about me and the best thing Ive done with my life and Im very proud of both of them...I just lost track of the fact that they are so smart and intelligent that they know EXACTLY whats going on, even though i wish they didnt....it was like that when I was growing up too...the fighting, yelling and stuff and I HATED that so why am I doing it to my own kids?? Its not right...I dont have to follow the pattern, I can break it...and granted its taken me long enough to do it, but I will do it dammit.
Yeah welcome back to the strong and determined LaDonna and good bye to the sorry excuse thats been around lately...
Id sing but eh...not like you can hear me anyways :P
Nice to be back :twisted:
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| weirdness:: |
| 11.11.03 (9:42 am) [edit] |
To experience or cause to experience an odd, unusual, and sometimes uneasy sensation. Often used with out.
Thats the definition for it...I looked it up. Im back because I have this uncanny way of taking a perfectly good conversation and ruining it...not just conversations though, it seems like everything...and the people around me are probably thinking Im seriously one phucked up person who eventually they will stop talking to and Ill end up alone, which is probably what I need to be. I took a little break from here for a little bit, granted Satan helped me out with that but maybe it wasnt such a bad idea...I mean maybe I came back to soon, my expectations of who I am, who I wanna be, who I wanna be WITH...what I want for me, my life...lots of things that Im struggling with at the moment.
I've disappointed many, not that I really care, well thats wrong there is one person I regret disappointing, my sister. She is one that Ive ALWAYS talked to about everything and she never judged me, at least not to my face...well she would just tell me straight out get the phuck over it and move on...fix your shit...I love my sister, she and my kids are the only pure love in my heart...the rest is tainted, messed up and confusing. Well except for Satan, we all know I hate him....and yet he puts up with me, why I have no clue...he could do so much better than me, all the shit Ive done to him and put him through...honestly the man deserves a medal for Christs sake...
So here I am, sitting in front of my pc, alone...
Alone::
Being apart from others; solitary.
Being without anyone or anything else; only.
Considered separately from all others of the same class.
Being without equal; unique.
nice definition. Think about that...I mean all in all we're all alone, born alone, die alone...it's in between that which counts and so far Ive managed to screw up just about everything Ive done, esp. lately. Now I know the reason why...noone else does...just me alone...I havent even told my sister, the one person who I tell everything to...noone. Ive been trying to work this out on my own but so far its a hopeless case...
hopeless::
Having no hope; despairing. See Synonyms at despondent.
Offering no hope; bleak.
Incurable.
Having no possibility of solution; impossible.
Incurable??? No, Im sure it is...so I guess Im not completely hopeless yet, but I cant see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore..Ive given up, as of right now I give up...
Everyone wants to know me and is drawn to me...no youre not...youre drawn to the ILLUSION of me that I present you...noone will ever really know the REAL me...Guard is always up, I make sure of that. Granted I am the person you talk to...the bitch, the evil one, the moody one...the completely dysfunctional messed up one...yep thats me :D
There's a whole other side to me though, not that you'll ever see it..this is as close as you'll ever get..sometimes I think people dont want to know that other side anyways...I mean who would when theyve met all my other personalities...I wouldnt...I dont want to know or even feel that other side myself...I dont like it, too dark of a place for me...
So on my road to trying to actually *fix* the brokeness in me, if Ive said things, done things that werent very nice, well sorry about that...If you only knew...but honestly do you really even want to know?? Ask yourself twice before you broach that question to me...you never know...maybe one day Ill let the guard down and youll get to see all of me...
Quite the scary thought....
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| People who piss me off... |
| 11.11.03 (7:31 am) [edit] |
This could be such a LONG, interesting list...though no names are going to be mentioned...everyone knows who pisses me off or have pissed me off, this morning after 7 hours of sleep in 2 days I was yelled at...WTF gives ANYONE the phucking right to yell at me?? and honestly...this is NOT a really wise phucking move..Look at it this way, I am the biggest bytch youll ever meet in your life...and yet I can be the sweetest and most nicest person youve ever met...now take in the fact that I need to be committed for being legally insane..then think again before you yell at me...
*sighs*
ANYWHO....now what was my real intention to blog about??
My Katy made honor roll AND has qualified for a scholarship for college already *beams proudly* Im so excited and happy for her...she works so hard at school and loves school, always has since kidnergarten....Stevens made honor roll too but he's not as school minded as Katy is, he's more into sports and stuff like that.
Its kinda funny but Katy's more driven like Mark, even though shes a mommas girl...exact replica of me, which is scary enough on its own...and Steven is more laid back and relaxed like me, even though he's a daddys boy.
I'll finish this later, Im talking to my sissy on MSN about her wedding and trying to get Katy a dress, this will be fun since it took her 3 hours to get new shoes :D My daughters so picky and like me :twisted:
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| Bite me.... |
| 11.10.03 (6:43 am) [edit] |
My two favorite words...yup gotta love em *nods*
Im on sabattical from the net...not that you could tell cause I keep coming on here....but I havent been on the net as in taking part of anything really...no desire, no need to really..plus my ears are messed up and I cant hear what Im typing :P
These past few days have been very......interesting is the word Ill use...and probably just leave it at that...some things are meant to be shared, some things just arent....deal with it...anyways Im feeling a tad poetic this morning so I thought Id share one with you, some are going to think they know what it means, but very few actually will and do.
Body searing, painful to touch
muscles screaming ever so much
heart ripped open for all to see
this is it...this is me
My feelings are all screwed and phucked
Undeniable pain is my good luck
Unable to speak what I want to say
Unable to describe what I want to convey
screaming, yelling at the top of my voice
Inside, but not outside cause I have no choice
I can never say what I really want to
Its always next question, what about you?
blah...its getting all messed up..Ill come back and edit it later I guess....or just leave it there unfinished like I always do...avoiding the truth, hiding behind it actually....
Yeah I thought I wanted to blog but now I dont.
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| ........ |
| 11.07.03 (11:59 am) [edit] |
Thats my subject for today.....I hate that stupid subject thing anyways, it's like labeling my rants...you cant label your rants...
Anyways I just got home from driving to a friend of mines and doing my errands...my friend, Terri...well he was Mark's friend at first and now he cant stand him...anyways he told me some information about that last blonde bytch he cheated on me with and stayed in a hotel with...IM not going into all of it because really I dont give a phuck...just proves what an ass he really is....then as I was leaving he went to give me a hug and he grabbed my boob!! Little bastard...I was like dude..you just grabbed my boob...he tried to act like it was an accident, which I wouldve believed if he had brushed up against it or whatever but he felt me up...he gets no more hugs from me :evil:
Drive 45 minutes in this traffic that just frustrated me to no end to get felt up... :roll: People really need to be tested better to get their licenses here...if you get in the fast lane, actually go fast please...not slower than the slow lane...I yelled, beeped and flipped off about 20 people today...yeah look under the definition for road rage and you'll see my picture *beams proudly*
But in that time I was thinking of all kinds of things..lots of random thoughts and whatnot...I woke up this morning borderline perky..then slowly fell out of that back into *putting my guard up to protect myself bitch* Because see even though I am a bitch and a strong one at that...today I definitely dont feel it...it's like all the strength in me was drained, and I dont even know why...well I kinda do but still...so I've slipped into one of those moods where Im putting my guard up and closing down to others to protect myself so I dont get hurt.
I've had my heart broken many times over, feelings phucked with..which is why the guard goes up in the first place....Im not indestructable, though I may act like it at times and sometimes REALLY wish I was.some days I offend very easily and take things the wrong way...it's just one of my many different moods but this past week everything seems more heightened...and Im sure its just me being overly dramatic..over analyzing things that just shouldnt be...
Like one of the many things I was thinking about, trust. This is a very tricky thing...I mean think about it...if you have someones trust 100%, then you feel safe, secure and feel good....yet if you dont have someones trust 100%, then you begin to wonder and doubt yourself and the person who doesnt trust you 100%....
I have a total of 5 people that I completely and 100% trust....and yet only 2 that I trust with my life. What about the other 3 you ask?? well no offense but its my LIFE we're talking about here...if it was over a candy bar then I'd say all 5 but it's my life....Again Im sure Im just being overly dramatic but certain people know absolutely everything about me and I mean EVERYTHING and they still care about me and talk to me...even when Im bytchy and moody, they still love me...which says alot because I dont know if I could put up with someone like me...here lately Ive become needy..over dramatic, pushy, and feeling the need to be reassured like every 10 mins...I mean just downright annoying...I feel like Im smothering people and just taking things way too serious, and I dont like it...I dont like the weirdness of it....so Im going to do everything I can to get back to the completely loveable and adored LaDonna....who's not jealous, petty, overly dramatic, taking things the wrong way, too serious....everything I've beome this past week....consider it gone.
I think because after you hear youre lazy and worthless and shit like that you start to believe that about yourself too esp. when its a constant thing from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep....this could also explain why Ive been so needy and clingy...I needed to know and hear from other people that Im NOT lazy and worthless and that Im loved, cared about...deep down I know this already, like Ive said Im NOT the kind of person who NEEDS to be reassured every day that there's nothing wrong with me and that I DO have people who love me and care about me...it was just to the point that I actually believed that Im not such a good person...things have been said and thought about me that it got to me....and to be honest i dont really give a phuck what people say or think about me...no offense to anyone out there but I dont.
You dont have to live MY life, you dont have to put up with the shit I put up with...so as the saying goes, until youve walked a mile in my shoes...shut the phuck up....or something like that :P You get what Im saying...
Ive decided to stop doing my ADA stuff...only because its gotten so ridiculous its not even funny...I mean make out with ONE girl while Im drunk and celebrating my becoming a level three and my online boyfriend goes after the one person he KNEW would piss me off, the one who was trying to kill and kidnap our daughter and now hes after her?? :roll: Honestly..and besides that everyone in the academy wants her dead and has killed her like 40 times...he lost ALL the respect I had in him....
This entry is just one long ramble that doesnt make much sense at all....Im just typing randomness as it comes into my head *sighs*
Basically its just one huge apology for being someone thats NOT me...and if you care at all about me you want to see me happy...not caring what or who it is that makes me happy, if that freaks you out or weirds you out then shush...right now Im trying to discover who I am, what makes me happy and all that other stuff...as friends who love me and care about me...you should back me up 100% to whatever I do or decide what makes me happy...if you cant then Im sorry for you.
My name is LaDonna and Im taking back my life and my happiness....if you dont like it well....deal with it and move on. Dont judge me for who I am...
yeah so now Im going...
[b]Listening to:: Numb by Linkin Park[/b]
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| Letters from my *jail cell* |
| 11.06.03 (9:53 am) [edit] |
I'm typing this from my very own jail cell, which conveniently is also my home...Satan went on a rampage and decided I was spending way too much time on the internet and way too much time talking to Becca so he decided to take away my internet, and only allow me one hour in the morning and one hour at night...then decided one night I wasnt going to get my night so he pissed me off.
So whats a girl to do you ask?? Well you wake up the next morning and decide that this is utter and complete bullshit and demand the cord back....and when he doesnt give it back and takes it with him to work, you follow him to work...and when he tried to ditch you, you almost get into a car accident to make sure he doesnt ditch you and you have a highway chase all over this stupid ass cord...and then when he gets to the house he's going to clean the carpets for...you corner him and demand the stupid cord and then watch him as he cuts it up with a pair of scissors into little itty bitty pieces right in front of your face standing just outside the car....
THEN
You get pissed off and go to tear out of there and miss him by an inch at the most..all those times Ive said Im going to run him down with my car...well psycho me almost did it yesterday...I was like a crazed lunatic, LMFAO :lol:
Then it was like you IDIOT how smart are you anyways?? and I went to home depot and bought me a new plug for 5.00 and WHAM Im back on the net while he's at work :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
The only thing is I have to keep my door locked so I have a heads up when he's home so I can hurry up and jump off of here...which I had to do yesterday when he came home with a brand new plug as well...LMFAO. Hopefully he gets over this REALLY fast...last time he did this it lasted a week so I hope it doesnt go any farther then that...I MISS my internet time...I miss my gurl, my sisters, my friends...I miss the ADA, I miss everything and everyone...
He's been reading ALL of my PMs at the prophecy...he reads all my emails, well from my laainjel account cause I wont give him the PW to my other one...he will actually sit on the edge of the bed and watch everything I type and to whoever I type it too he asks...who's that??
He just doesnt get how I can talk to people online the way I do...he thinks everyones a stranger..he doesnt know or understand how close you guys are to me....and he never will Im sure *sighs*
As long as he gets over this taking my net away thing soon it'll be okay..I dont know what Im going to do if he keeps it like this...he's phucking psycho and downright mad...and we all know Im psychotic so Im just feeding off of his psychoness...it's crazy at my house lately...trust me when I say noone wants to be around here...
Both my kids have mice now...katys hamster died and we had to take him back and she decided she wanted a mouse...we named him Oreo cause hes black and white....then Steven had to have one too so last night Mark took them up and got him one, his is freaky looking cause he has pure red eyes...they called him butterscotch cause hes light brown and white...little thing needs to be called the devyl....
Well thats about all for now...I dont feel like typing anymore and I need to go take a shower before satan gets home...
[b]
*misses you & loves you all*[/b]
[b]
Listening to:: Behind Blue eyes by Limp Bizkit[/b]
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| Trust I seek, and I find in you |
| 11.03.03 (10:20 am) [edit] |
First Im going to start by thanking the lovely, talented and coolest chic ever Becca who made me my new header and also did the colors to match my beautiful new header *hugs her and kisses her*
Lets see what else has been going on...well I had mentioned something in my last post about a certain someone...well for those who are incredibly slow and havent quite figured it out yet, I was talking about Becca...everyone knows that I talk to her more than anyone else online...simply because she actually *gets* me no matter what mood Im in...and believe me I have alot of them :P
[image]DevylzGoddess_5096 63241.gif[/image]
[b]
*hugs, kisses and loves her gurl*[/b]
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| Okay here's another.. |
| 11.01.03 (9:11 pm) [edit] |
These past couple of days have certainly driven me to the brink of insanity and back.
Satan found this, my blog....stupid history deleting thing didnt work *kicks it*
and of course he's been reading thru ALL my PM's..hell he even read thru the shoutbox on the PCO...he did have it where it saved my message history on MSN, which of course I cahnged back to nothing being saved...so yeahs hes certifiably insane now, as if we didnt know already....so I was going to take a few days off the net to get things to calm down....I mean he'd literally be over my shoulder and watch what I typed...not to everyone mind you...just one paticular person and it infuriated me to no end :evil:
And even after reading through all my shyt he STILL thinks I have some master plan to leave or do something :roll:
I want to blog about some other thing but I cant...I have to ask said person if it's okay first. Hmmmmmmmmm.......*mind wanders* erm...where were we??
Oh YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! Me leaving ;)
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| .... |
| 11.01.03 (8:30 pm) [edit] |
so few words can describe
what I'm feeling inside
utter happiness, pure bliss
your laugh, your voice I miss
Its been a long time since Ive felt this way
You are my sunshine you make my day
After all is said and done
In my heart, youre the only one
Noone else can say they know
Itd be too hard for me to let you go
I want you here, here with me
In my arms is where you should be
Though distance seperates, keeps us apart
Youre right here, next to me in my heart
I never realized just how strong
I felt, knew that with you I belong
I want to wrap my arms around you, kiss away your tears
I want to hold you close, wipe away all your fears
Id never let anyone hurt you, not at all
Id be the one to catch you when you fall
If only my feelings for you I could share
Hold you tightly and always be there
If only those voices you could ignore
If only youd just let loose and explore
If only I could have you here beside me
Then you'd understand, then you'd see
That my feelings for you are pure and true
and that they were meant
only for you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wrote it at like 12:30 last night, thinking of a certain actually...nuff said there.
SO glad all the drama is gone...people just need to worry about themselves and thats it....
Ill blog more tomorrow when I can...
*hugs and loves her gurl*
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| *sigh* |
| 10.31.03 (9:27 pm) [edit] |
.....................................
Thats it for now...how I feel..I miss her so damn much
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| and all the European sheep go MEH! |
| 10.29.03 (6:47 am) [edit] |
what??? seemed like a good topic to me *shrugs*
I havent blogged in ages...blame it on my laziness and also everything else Ive been doing :wink: been kind of distracted lately is all *cough*
anyways...so I went to my sisters this past weekend, I did have fun even though I was a little paranoid with the 500 people who showed up for Kia's b-day party...oh and me and her bridesmaid, yeah we're going to end up fighting either at the wedding or the reception...not sure which yet but its gonna happen. Shes a pushy annoying bitch, and since Im one too its just ...well itll happen
:P
And despite the fact that her soon to be hubby hates me, I still love her very much. *nods* ALL of my friends husbands HATE me and hate it when I come around...so i guess I am *shrugs* I dont really care, all i do is get them drunk and have fun and then go home...
maybe thats why they hate me..strong and independant, mouthy, dont take their shit...wont back down like their wives do :lol:
its like once I know I have them..I dont back off and just keep going...almost like an instinct that I have them nailed and going in for the kill...ya know the more I say all this the more I realize why they dont like me...Im an annoying bitch..LMAO :twisted:
Oh well, some people just need to deal with it and move on....
Lets see what else is there???
Im NEVER drinking again...well drinking as much as I did Saturday night I mean...blah got wasted on mai tais...I only drank them cause Angie was...I normally drink Jack and Coke...usually saves me from the hangover...I slept all the way home Sunday cause my head hurt so bad and felt incredibly nauseous and out of the 20 years Ive been drinking, I have YET to throw up....not exactly something to brag about but *shrugs*
Hmmmmmmm...next topic...whatd I do yesterday??? Oh erm never you mind that...none of your business *nods* :wink: I would tell but I dont think the other person wants me too so Im just not gonna...keeping that part private thank you very much. Im just gonna say I LOVE the voice part of msn and leave it at that...
Ya know I got a new MSN addy to cut down on my contact list and actually be able to talk to others more...until they started a thread in the ADA to list everyones MSN...Im back up to 35 contacts again...most of which are ADA members...Ive had quite interesting conversations with some of them on there :wink: Not telling that either :P
some things just arent meant to be shared...muwhahahaha
Hmmmmmm...I think thats about it, if theres anything else Ill add it later
[b]Listening to:: Eyes without a face, Billy Idol[/b]
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| survey now, blog later :P |
| 10.26.03 (10:09 pm) [edit] |
Tomboy
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
had a GREAT weekend for more than one reason
:wink:
Its late, I need a cold shower and sleep...hoping for a really good dream, which Im sure I will after tonight :wink:
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| just realized something... |
| 10.24.03 (1:29 pm) [edit] |
actually might have a new problem...my phone/DSL bill is due today and if he doesnt pay it then theyre going to cut my phone/DSL...Im waiting for Katy to get back home now and then leaving...but if you dont see me posting then that means I lost my internet and I'll have to go to the library to post and talk....which I wont be able to keep doing every day...I really hope he doesnt...if I lose my net not only will I be PISSED but I'll be murderous and thrown into jail for beating the shit out of him...so if you dont see me thats why...
later
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| blah..hows that?? |
| 10.24.03 (11:14 am) [edit] |
I can never think of a subject so that'll work....Im about to start getting ready to go for my trip to Angies...have to clean my car, pack...Satan left to the track..I swear to GOD if he gets drunk Im going to phucking smack the shit out of him...
So yeah I'll be gone till Sunday...not sure when exactly, which might possibly be good news for some people...
Im thinking that sometimes there is such a thing as too much LaDonna...like you might get bored or tired of talking to me, I dont hope so nor do I want anyone to be tired of me...
*shrugs*
Im really just rambling...putting off my responsibilities until the last moment like I always do....
I'll see you guys Monday...have a great weekend
*waves and hugs Keith, who finally made it to my blog :P *
ALSO...I almost forgot DONT PM me at CTP about anything personal...Satan now reads all my PMs there...feel free to Pm and bitch him out though *nods*
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| Two songs thats it.... |
| 10.23.03 (2:01 pm) [edit] |
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Ooh, And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to....
The one thing that I tried to hold on to....
The one thing that I tried to hold on to....
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
AND~~~
As sure as the air that I breathe
Youre all that I need
I can't live without you
'Cause it feels like heaven when I'm with you, please come back to me
(It feels like heaven baby)
'Cause these tears in my eyes, I can't disguise, please come back to me
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes
Now I was a fool to tell you
'Cause you were my best friend
And I would come running from miles away
Just to see your face again
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes
(Born to make mistakes)
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes, yeah
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes
I'm only human
(Human)
Born to make mistakes, yeah
No matter how I try to tell you
Baby I can't live without you
And in your thoughts I'm sure you'll find
That you and I will never be apart
They don't know what you mean to me
Please don't give up on us
We can try (we can try) to make it better
Please don't give up on us
Alright
I modified that last one to fit my own selfish needs...I just hope, want, need and pray that I didnt just phuck up something so close and dear to me... :cry:
Nuff said for now
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| It MUST be a curse... |
| 10.21.03 (6:45 am) [edit] |
That damn I love the 80's show...* kicks it HARD* I didnt have any weird dreams, well I had one but it had nothing to do with that show :P However, I DID have one of my bout of insomnia last night..I think I finally crashed around 3:30ish...so of course Im blaming that show. I LOVE that show though, last nights had the smurfs...la la la la la, smurf the whole day long...and jelly shoes..LMFAO...yeah I used to wear those..shut up everyone else did too...I used to be such a follower...thank goodness Im not anymore *nods*
Good news about my insomnia....Im all caught up with the Newlywed show about Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey....what a masochist HE is...she's a whinny, prissy, spoiled brat who does nothing but complain and burp like a trucker thru every episode...and he puts up with it!!!!!! There was one eppy where he told her how spoiled she was but all she did was whine about that she wasnt....if this is a look into the glamorous life...its a bit too much...at least Ozzy was hilarious....go follow Shannen or Eliza around..maybe then Ill be interested. *nod*
I talked to Angie last night..and ALL I have to say is
*cough*
WARNING, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME..I AM A PROFESSIONAL
*cough*
LOVE YOU ANGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *smirks*
Im off to job hunt...well shower and then job hunt....wish me luck...I'll be back later
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